I may have been a little harsh on Mark Twain in my last posting!

I came across a website containing what purported to be his quotations. I haven't cross referenced them with an attributable source because I can't be bothered and any way it takes away the fun of the Internet. There were some little gems:

"A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella in the sunshine but wants it back the moment it begins to rain"

Nice.

There was another one I found that I think will deserve a posting of it's own as I felt a mild rage at the misleading philosophy that was counter to my own experience.

More on that later. Oh yes beware I shall be giving lifestyle advice. I am qualified by the fact that I know most of the pitfalls having jumped in them with both feet at one stage or another

The next one i liked was this one:

"Grief can take care of itself but the get the full value of joy you have to have someone to divide it with"

The one that got my blood pressure up was this one however

"Always acknowledge a fault, this will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

Yeah, well that is the antithesis of my experience thus far. An admission of any kind allows people to firmly place you in the pigeon hole they had created for you, never to be released. if you deny,deny,deny it seems the pigeon hole is there for you but they just can't quite shut the door on it. Doubt can be a wonderful thing.

I was reading the auto biography of one of my comedy heroes Eric Sykes. He had this advice given to him by his father. If you don't take the world seriously it won't take you seriously. Sounds odd coming from a comedian but behind the scenes it seems he was a serious negotiator and never allowed himself to be sold short.

I myself have found to my cost that the light hearted attitude I apply to my working relationships seems to put a limit on just how much responsibility I am deemed capable of.

It might be, however that I am actually incompetent but you have got back yourself haven't you.

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live"

The trick I suppose is to be able to correctly gauge when the time and place is that you can light hearted and when you have to be serious.

It is too late for me but you can save yourselves!

"A habit is habit and not to be thrown out of the window by any man, but coaxed down the stairs one step at a time"

And so endeth the lesson