In Receipt of the Facts

There is a quote I found in my book of quotes, here it is :-

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn"

George Bernard Shaw Back to Methuselah 1921

This is salient because this week I have attempted to speak Polish. The reason for this is the rather surprising news, released recently by the census office, that Polish is the second most spoken language in the UK as of 2011!

So we have a registrar at work who indeed hails from this fair land. In the spirit of international understanding   I thought I would susrprise him with a few well chosen words in Polish, So as to make him feel more at home.

"Do vidzenia!" Shouted through the doorway at him as left the department. At least I that is what I thought I said. According to my Google translator that was Polish for "Goodbye" Whilst I had no doubt Google had delivered the correct phrase to my computer screen, the Devil is in the detail as they say and I wasn't entirely certain I had pronounced it right. 

My suspicions were aroused when the gentleman in question returned to my doorway and peered in. I repeated the phrase but tried harder to make it sound more Polish.

Silent incomprehension. I wondered, for a small moment, if I hadn't in fact just insulted his mother or similar Polish curse. The Registrar's face portrayed a man assesing his next move with great care. 

"Chop him into a thousand pieces and burn the rest or just beat him up?" Was what it looked like to me. I decided to help

"It's Polish" I said helpfully in English ( A language I am altogether more comfortable in) and pointed at my Google page on the the computer screen.

After what seemed to be an age he frowned in recognition and said 

"Yes it is" with that he turned and left.

I was left with a distinct feeling of having been close to the edge of an international incident and was reminded of the Monty Python sketch about a deliberately badly written phrase book.