Do you ever get those moments where someone asks you a question about a topic that you have given a lot of thought to over the years but just wasn't expecting to have to extol those thoughts right at that very moment? I have. In fact I have had many and I usually feel a bit of an imbecile over it as I desperately struggle to raise my deep thoughts from the dark recesses of my memory banks.

There is one such incident that bothers me the most, no in fact it was twice with the same person. I was driving my nephew to a tree planting ceremony in honour of my sister and he brought the subject up. I spluttered my way through the conversation without really feeling I had gotten my point across. Some years later whilst at dinner in a trendy restaurant in downtown Boston, he broached the subject again albeit in a subtly different way.

It has bothered me for nearly 8 years, the conversation in the car. I have been unable to write about it because it becomes a bit of a ramble.

When I said I had put a lot of thought into this subject I really had but not in a intellectual sense. I had squared my philosophy off in my head. I was comfortable with my motivation, I had just never tried to commit it to paper.

So here goes

The conversation in the car was along the lines of "winning beats the taking part - discuss"

I was making the argument for the "taking part" side.

My nephews argument is best summed up by a couple of quotes I found :-

"Winning is everything. The only people who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog" Damon Hill Sunday Times 1994

"Sure winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" Henry "Red" Sanders Sports Illustrated 1955

My argument goes along these lines :-

"The important thing in life is not the victory but the contest, the essential thing is not to have won but to have fought well" Baron Pierre de Coubertin Speech on the London Olympic games 1948

And finally:-

"The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else" Martina Navratilova Independant Newspaper 1989

If only I could have recalled those last 2 quotes I may have made a better fist of defending my corner. The upshot, I felt, of the conversation was that my philosophy bred mediocrity as it produced no desire to win.

My philosophy is a little more than that.

So here goes Nephew.

It IS more important to take part. There is after all no contest otherwise. But as Baron de Coubertin says, it is also about the quality of the contest. How well did you play the game? My father taught me to play for every point as though my life depended on it but not to care what the overall score was. The reason for that is that victory is ephemeral and if you train and play only for that moment you will have a very miserable time - it lasts such a short instant.

OK I think that kind of sums it up. I will leave it like that as it is quite succinct. I might begin to ramble uncontrollably if i try to clarify anymore

The second time my nephew tripped me up it was on the subject of team sports. Why did Me and my brother enjoy them so much? My nephew had just finished College (Uni in the UK) and had spent 3 years breaking his balls in a team sport he loved . The problem was that not all his squad shared his determination, drive or ambition. The result for him left a tiny bitter taste because for all his own efforts he had nothing to show for it. He now appears to concentrate on Triathlon as he feels he gets rewarded for exactly what he puts in to his training and competing.

That is fair enough on any level. You want to reap the rewards of the sweat of your brow.

So why should me and my brother prefer team sports? Your success or failure was out of your control to a greater or lesser extent.

So what is it I like about team sports? The search for honour! It is a line from a film actually and it was attributed to a linebacker describing the Charge of the Light Brigade. The soldiers knew it was a road to dusty death but didn't want to let down themselves or their comrades and so charged off to the Ruski guns.

Sport isn't quite so dramatic but the point is the same. There is something more satisfying being part of a team. It is great to share a victory and commiserate a defeat. The appreciation of fellow team members when making extra effort and the gratitude when others do the same for you. A genuine bond of camaraderie builds up that can develop into strong human ties.

Team sports can show you how to live as a community. Everyone pitches in for the triumph and the highs and lows are all shared so that the fickle finger of misfortune cannot hurt you.

Nature shows that cooperation is the secret of success. Te playing of team sports can foster this ideal. That is a bit lofty and idealistic i suppose.

I played team sports for the camaraderie.

What do ya think?