007 Licence to Thrill
What does the longest running and most successful film series, a men's barber shop and a large chain of video rental suppliers have in common? Aside from appearing in this blog probably very little. Still on with the tale.
Last Friday I spent in the company of my son at a chain of multiplex cinema's that shall remain nameless. Oh all right it was the Odeon. I have a genuine complaint to make about their Imax screens. Okay so let's get the whining out of the way first.
I had a bad feeling about the evening. I had booked the last two seats in the auditorium. On the front row. I have been to Imax theatres before and the screen was whopping so to know I was going to be sat underneath it was a little underwhelming. I only went for that performance because of a fortuitous happenstance that my Daughter was at birthday party and didn't want to see the film anyway. I will in future wait and get a better seat at a later date. Everyone looked almost totally ridiculous. During full length shots people had very, very long logs and short body's and in close up there was precious little forehead and a whole bunch of chin. Not only that but I couldn't encompass the whole screen in my field of view. Not a good time and I paid the best part of £30 for the pleasure.
OK rant over. So we went to see Skyfall. It was a great film but both me and my son had the same misgiving
that somehow it still isn't a Bond film. The essential elements of which are
Daniel Craig's version of Bond is pretty good but apart from Casino Royale hasn't had a story line worthy enough. Come on, James Bond Eco Warrior (Quantum of Solace)? Really? And if that isn't enough MI6 now has Voldemort in charge. Honestly the country is going to the dogs
Now for a haircut. I went down in to Durham to get my haircut in an establishment that seems to only employ women. Which is why I go there. It is just about the only time I get to speak to women that I don't either work with or am related to. All morning I had rehearsed how was the best way to ask for a "Daniel Craig" so as to break the ice and start a conversation. I was pleased that, although Durham was busy the barbershop was not. I had only just got started on my Big Issue (interesting article on the different approaches to alcohol abuse and cannabis smoking.) when I was called to a chair by one of the girls.
I don't get my haircut that often these days but it is interesting how I seem to always end up in the same chair. Like one of those daft maths questions we used to get at school - "If Darren had four apples and David has six pears and the bus comes every ten minutes how often would they eat chips?" that sort of thing. I would like to know what the chances of sitting in the same chair are. So come on chance experts there are three chairs with a hairdresser at each what is the chance you will get in the same chair every time?
So I sat in my chair and the lady asked me what did I want to have done today? I was a bit flustered as I had struggled out of my coat some before I sat down so I sat down and tried to reel out my well rehearsed line of a "Daniel Craig". It would probably have worked OK as a start line if that had been in fact what I had said. What I actually said was " I would like a Daniel Radcliffe!" he of Harry Potter fame. To be fair it probably worked better.
Finally, in the week we celebrate 50 years of James Bond films I wanted to relate my favourite moment where my surname has raised an eyebrow.
Some years ago I walked into a large Blockbuster store in my home town. As I walked in the door I heard the theme tune for The Living Daylights by A-ha! the film arrived at a momentous time in my life and I remember it quite warmly. I loafed around the store a little and selected a couple of films and made my way
to the pay desk. I got the usual perfunctory interaction that you get with a member of staff who really can think of better places to be of an evening. That is until he asked for my membership card. When the name came up on his computer he very nearly fell off his stool his face was a picture. It turned out that he had literally just placed the theme tune disc into the CD player as I walked in the door and then to find that I was a Bond almost completely freaked him out
Ah well that is all for now. The clocks go back an hour tonight and the winter is truly upon us. Roll on spring.
Last Friday I spent in the company of my son at a chain of multiplex cinema's that shall remain nameless. Oh all right it was the Odeon. I have a genuine complaint to make about their Imax screens. Okay so let's get the whining out of the way first.
I had a bad feeling about the evening. I had booked the last two seats in the auditorium. On the front row. I have been to Imax theatres before and the screen was whopping so to know I was going to be sat underneath it was a little underwhelming. I only went for that performance because of a fortuitous happenstance that my Daughter was at birthday party and didn't want to see the film anyway. I will in future wait and get a better seat at a later date. Everyone looked almost totally ridiculous. During full length shots people had very, very long logs and short body's and in close up there was precious little forehead and a whole bunch of chin. Not only that but I couldn't encompass the whole screen in my field of view. Not a good time and I paid the best part of £30 for the pleasure.
OK rant over. So we went to see Skyfall. It was a great film but both me and my son had the same misgiving
that somehow it still isn't a Bond film. The essential elements of which are
- Violence - especially guns (ticks that box)
- Stunts - (yeah got that covered)
- Urbane psychopath as Uber villain (Nice work there too)
- plot to rule/destroy the world (this is the biggy, the more audacious the better)
Daniel Craig's version of Bond is pretty good but apart from Casino Royale hasn't had a story line worthy enough. Come on, James Bond Eco Warrior (Quantum of Solace)? Really? And if that isn't enough MI6 now has Voldemort in charge. Honestly the country is going to the dogs
Now for a haircut. I went down in to Durham to get my haircut in an establishment that seems to only employ women. Which is why I go there. It is just about the only time I get to speak to women that I don't either work with or am related to. All morning I had rehearsed how was the best way to ask for a "Daniel Craig" so as to break the ice and start a conversation. I was pleased that, although Durham was busy the barbershop was not. I had only just got started on my Big Issue (interesting article on the different approaches to alcohol abuse and cannabis smoking.) when I was called to a chair by one of the girls.
I don't get my haircut that often these days but it is interesting how I seem to always end up in the same chair. Like one of those daft maths questions we used to get at school - "If Darren had four apples and David has six pears and the bus comes every ten minutes how often would they eat chips?" that sort of thing. I would like to know what the chances of sitting in the same chair are. So come on chance experts there are three chairs with a hairdresser at each what is the chance you will get in the same chair every time?
So I sat in my chair and the lady asked me what did I want to have done today? I was a bit flustered as I had struggled out of my coat some before I sat down so I sat down and tried to reel out my well rehearsed line of a "Daniel Craig". It would probably have worked OK as a start line if that had been in fact what I had said. What I actually said was " I would like a Daniel Radcliffe!" he of Harry Potter fame. To be fair it probably worked better.
 |
| Spot the difference! |
Finally, in the week we celebrate 50 years of James Bond films I wanted to relate my favourite moment where my surname has raised an eyebrow.
Some years ago I walked into a large Blockbuster store in my home town. As I walked in the door I heard the theme tune for The Living Daylights by A-ha! the film arrived at a momentous time in my life and I remember it quite warmly. I loafed around the store a little and selected a couple of films and made my way
to the pay desk. I got the usual perfunctory interaction that you get with a member of staff who really can think of better places to be of an evening. That is until he asked for my membership card. When the name came up on his computer he very nearly fell off his stool his face was a picture. It turned out that he had literally just placed the theme tune disc into the CD player as I walked in the door and then to find that I was a Bond almost completely freaked him out
Ah well that is all for now. The clocks go back an hour tonight and the winter is truly upon us. Roll on spring.
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